Hey guys, I just wanted to drop by and fill everyone in on the resolution. After all this fighting with the fuel delivery system, it turns out my computer was sending me misleading codes. Fuel wasn't the issue, SPARK was.
My coil pack was bad. I went and talked to a local mechanic, was going to drop off the vehicle and have him look at it. He wouldn't check it in until I replaced the coil pack. He says - "if it's still giving you trouble after that, I'll take a look." Fifteen minutes later in driving back to his shop to kiss him on the mouth. He settled on a handshake, but still, extremely grateful for the suggestion. I cannot believe after all this it came down to such a stupid, overlooked part.
Thank you to everyone who has contributed and offered suggestions! You are all very much appreciated. I don't know where I would have been without your assistance. Cheers, everyone. See you next time.