I can relate. I have a family business and we don't even ship to Canada. Customs are a pain, and some packages even get confiscated. Its tough but we can't really afford that with the equipment we ship out.
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Customs only hold back packages if theres anything suspicious about the shipping or content of the package, or if the papir work isn't done right.
Put it in your terms and conditions that you will fill out the papirwork according to your clients request and ship it as he wishes, but you are not liable for what the customs have to say about it. And make sure the customer signs an agreement to this before he can place his order.
Its just REALLY stupid that the customer has to pay extra for a 3rd party forwarding company, ESPECIALLY when most of their competitors ship international AND take paypal.
I can understand why some busineses don't accept international credit cards, because theres alot of fees added to the use of those (for the business as well as the customer) and banks are stupid about them too (I am a small business owner myself, so I know), but thats what we have paypal for, skip all the meaning less fees and bank bullshit and both sides are happy.